Pre-teens Parenting
Adolescence is a difficult stage in our children’s growth. This is the stage where children changes not only physically but mentally as well. Parents should always be at hand to offer support and guidance.
Foremost to change is their physical aspect. The girls go through menarche which is their first menstruation. This in itself is a big change and some are afraid and confused. The boys undergo voice changes, grow facial and body hair and suffer acne outbreaks. Parents should be present and give support, guidance, assurance and answer questions about what’s happening with their body.
Both boys and girls become increasingly conscious of the way they look and become more sensitive of any talk regarding their appearance. This is also the time when they notice the opposite sex more. Adolescent stage is the right time to have a talk with our kids about the “birds and the bees”. Be direct but not vulgar and answer their questions truthfully. It will be good if they will know these from you than to learn them from their peers wherein you do not know if what they are learning is the right one and might prove to be disastrous.
Adolescense is also the stage wherein the children starts to form their own opinions. They start to rebel and argue more. They may point out errors and may be rude at times. They start staying out with their friends and are influenced more by them.They learn to build friendships and value them. They might question their parents’ beliefs and decline to accept traditional norms. But the way you bring them up decides their inclination to be influenced. Raise your child in such a way that he doesn’t forget family bonds and follows his parents’ suggestions. You can keep your friendship with your child very much in place by trying to make his friends your own. Friends and friendships have a strong impact on the kind of adult your child would be. You can possibly help him by choosing the right kind of friends for him. They also start to think about their future and try to evaluate what they are good at.
If you sense that your adolescent has a problem, do not neglect it. Offer support, guidance, encouragement, understanding lots of and love but do not crowd him. Let him have his space but let him know that you are always there for him. Be on the look out for changes in mood and disposition for your child may be depressed.
The following are some parenting tips on dealing with your adolescents:
- Never ever compare your child with other kids their age. It will only do more damage than you think. Refrain from commenting on their appearance as they are very much conscious and sensitive about it.
- Encourage good eating habits and exercise. Give them lots of time to rest and sleep.
- Set definite rules at home and enforce them properly. Some rules are negotiable like time spent outside but some rules are non-negotiable like being rude and irresponsible.
- Value the power of communication. Always keep communication channels open and let your children know that you will always be there for them. Be a good listener and give advice and suggestions but let them decide on their own.